Sunday, November 20, 2016

Southernland


It all started about a year and a half ago...when I first put on a VR headset I was in a really challenging place in my life..waking up feeling depressed or anxious most days..and I realized, when I put on the headset, it was the first time in months where I felt transported to a totally different world..where all of my negative thoughts had  melted away...

Pause.

It always amazes me when someone who seems so perfect shares the same afflictions as someone as unremarkable as myself. She's intelligent and talented and stunningly beautiful...she gets to travel the world and make videos for a living...she has a thousand friends and a million followers. What could she be have been depressed about?

It's so easy to believe that everyone else has it easy, but we are only looking at a tiny sliver, a moment, in everyone's lives.

Point taken. But it still doesn't answer my question.

My last heartbreak, which happened as my “adult self” was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through. I had been positive that he was “the one,” that we would get married and have kids within the next five years. It’s a hard thing, to lose someone, but to also lose the happy future you imagined together. Coming out of that relationship made me question everything in my life. Despite the tremendous pain I felt after my last breakup, it’s inspired shifts in my life that previous breakups didn’t. I really re-assessed a lot of my choices and what makes me happy, and I think those changes will produce everlasting results. So yeah – hard to believe I’m even saying this, but I think some of the most painful stuff can also produce the most good.

...which explains the world travel and charity work and passion for virtual reality technology. Got it.

Continue.

I've had the privilege of documenting some amazing stories...people like Shirley McClure, who is a 72 year-old who was finally able to see her lifelong dream of driving a professional race car come true. I traveled to Mott's Children's Hospital in Ann Arbor, where I got to see how their child care specialists have pioneered the use of VR technology to improve the quality of life for kids with life-threatening illnesses. I've also taken my 360 headset into hospitals and senior homes and homeless shelters... and more recently I've been stopping by the neuroscience lab at universities like USC and UCLA to learn about how VR can positively impact depression, anxiety, PTSD...

Well, don't I feel like an asshole. She's thought of all these amazing, life-changing ways to use virtual reality technology; all I'd use it for is to transport myself into her world.


 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------


When you realize that your life is spiraling out of control, you can do two things: you can end it - or as MFFG often says, you can "choose life*".

*This often refers to being anti-abortion, but in her context it's about finding ways out of the darkness. 

How many times have you seen or heard or read inspirational stories about people who had reached a low point in life and felt lost, hurt, heartbroken? Addicts who chose the path to recovery and worked hard every day to stay clean and sober. Cubicle dwellers who broke free of the rat race and started their own small businesses doing something that inspired and fulfilled them. People with disordered eating habits who changed their diet and adopted a fit, healthy lifestyle that resulted in an improved physical and mental state, compliments from friends and family, and maybe even a new career as a personal trainer or nutritionist.

It happens all the time. Even if you're young and fit and attractive and not ensnared in addiction or a dead-end job... you can still hit rock bottom, and you can still find your way out. And maybe it's easier for them, to latch on to faith or fitness or future tech. Maybe because they have money or connections or a support system that encourages them. Maybe they can take risks in their lives because they don't have a spouse or children who depend on them for stability and that meager paycheck that's somehow enough to keep a roof over their head but not enough to afford a gym membership or a therapist. 


I have come to the conclusion (much too late, it seems) that I am in dire need of such a change. And I have discussed this many times with my wife. But either she doesn't get it or she cant help me, and trying to convey the urgency of my need is futile. I can fight her, but she'll always win. She can say "NO" a million times, and I'll have to back down. What am I going to do, divorce her? Who else would want me? 

And I couldn't possibly afford child support. Plus, I love my girls. I really do. They stress me out sometimes (because I'm already frazzled from work and my physical/mental health is in freefall) but I know that right now, today, I'm a better father to them than my father was to me. Admittedly a very low bar, but still...I have his genes. I could have easily repeated his destructive behaviors. I have a steady job (though it's only part-time), but I've never had ambition or a useful skill set. I am an addict, if not an alcoholic. I have anger issues, and the only reason why I'm able to control them is because I hit a kid with a hockey stick when I was 14 and nearly got arrested. Lesson learned. 

I can't move back home. My mom is elderly, and she will have to leave the house I grew up in soon - either due to eminent domain, or because she'll have to enter an elderly care facility. She's losing the ability to walk. Right now, she's able to get around on her own in short bursts. She wanted to go to an HRC rally, or an anti-Trump rally...but she cant stand/walk long enough. We went apple-picking last time I was in CT, and I had to help her up and down the small but steep hill to the orchard. Then, after a few minutes of watching her grandkids pick a hundred apples (we've still got two bushels full) my mom had to sit on the dirty, apple-stained ground because there were no benches.

I'm deathly afraid of getting old. I've never been in any real physical pain, never had a major illness or disease - or even a minor one. I guess you could say I've been lucky, but I know I'm way overdue for bad luck to happen (as in the Bundy Curse), and I tease fate by failing to address my issues. I recognize the warning signs - and dismiss them.

Andso I'm fascinated by the stories of people who can not only make a positive change in their own lives, but in the lives of others. It all seems like fiction to me, but it warms my heart regardless.

I can acknowledge that a certain someone has certain physical features that I find appealing (while tacitly admitting that an "average looking" person with the same qualities might not have found their way onto my radar) but I'm not writing thousands of words about a woman I've never met (and never will) simply because she's slender and sexy. That stuff just opens the door. What she does with those built-in advantages determines whether or not I want to stick around.




I can't afford a VR headset, but I can watch her videos. I can dream. I can transport myself to a totally different world, where all of my negative thoughts melt away... for a few seconds. 

And then... 


Fade to black.



 ~

Monday, October 24, 2016

15 Minutes of Fame




I was in a melancholy mood this morning, trying to feel the things I love about Autumn while living in this weird headspace wherein I am far too aware of my failures and limitations to allow myself a dream escape. 

At some point during the thirty minutes I have to myself (after I reluctantly awake but before I even more grudgingly get ready for work) a thought formed in my mind, as I scrolled through Go Pro Bro's Instagram while listening to "Life In Technicolor"...




I don't do Instagram. I don't do social media. Y'all know that. I lie to myself and say it's because I don't have a smart phone, when in reality it's because I have nothing interesting to share with the world. I don't go anywhere. I don't do anything. I don't know anyone. 

The picture at the top of this post was taken at least three years ago (you can tell it's not current because the trees are bare) and only about five minutes from my house. I haven't done any sightseeing since that time - just the necessary walk home from work three times a week. 

Walking used to be a thing I did to clear my head and relieve my stress. Now I just take naps. It's not that the great outdoors doesn't interest me anymore, it does... I guess. It's just that I've grown tired of the surrounding area and I can't get to anywhere interesting.

Go Pro Bro is a professional photographer. He takes pictures of some incredible natural wonders. 'Tis his job, after all. And for a moment at least (perhaps even two moments) I wasn't envious of his surfer boy looks or that gorgeous girlfriend of his...

I sat at my computer wondering what it's like to travel, to see the world, to have something to share with friends and strangers alike.


This is GPB's. I'll take it down in a day or two.

That feeling had started to creep in last week, when I peeked thru Taryn's Instagram. She's in Germany now. No idea why, but it seems like that girl has the perfect life. How does one make enough money in visual media to travel the world on a whim? I always say it pays to be attractive - but it also pays to be creative. And I am neither. 

My high school bff and I used to be baseball buddies. We'd talk for hours about every team, every player - even the CGI players on his baseball sim. For years we were inseparable - and because we had similar interests and similar builds, at least one guy thought we were brothers. Which led to me henceforth refer to him as my "Brother From Another Mother."

But last summer he moved to California without saying goodbye, just as our high school friend Nirvana John had done nearly 20 years earlier. Frickin' Cali, man. They've got my two favorite girls (three including Jennifer Lawrence) and my two best high school buds.




I feel a California playlist percolating in my head...maybe next post ;)

Anyway... every now and then, Wifey will report on what my friends are up to, since she follows them on Facebook. And my "Brother" travels a lot for ComicCons and whatnot. It's his life now. I'm not even sure if he likes baseball anymore.

My mom kinda laughs at a grown ass man in his early-to-mid 30's playing dress-up when he should be looking for a wife (or some such nonsense). But... he's famous. Seriously.

Google "McThor." Go ahead, I'll wait. 



Yep. That's him, being all famous and shit. He's even got a small role in the new Thor movie. Very, very small. Microscopic. But still... He's in the new Thor movie.


And he's not the only one of my (almost) famous friends...


My only remaining friend, my lifelong bff since we were ten years old, was in a band. 

Big deal, right? Lots of kids are in a band. And yeah, I went to a few of his shows when he was 15, playing in front of twenty of his closest friends at the local meeting halls.

Then a few years ago he joined an established band... and toured Europe... and recorded an album for a real record label. They're on Allmusic.com and everything. Check it.

Last time I saw him he lamented that he was falling behind in life, that he hadn't accomplished anything. His twin brother smacked some sense into him right quick. 

You were in a band. You played shows in f*cking Europe. You lived your dream. 



He's the very Swedish-looking bassist in the above video. And it's not like they were super-famous or anything, but still. He got to create something, and travel the world, and share his talents with thousands of people. He did indeed live his dream. For two years.


My two best friends - my only two friends - have had their fifteen minutes of fame. 




Shall I mention that my ex-gf published a Harry Potter companion and my college crush was in a Microsoft Windows commercial? (side note: I crushed on her when she was 20, she did that commercial seven years ago... and she just turned 30. my God, where does the time go?)


I really don't know that many people. Honest. I don't even follow people on social media. Just Taryn, really. And she's already famous - in a 21st century sort of way - so she doesn't count in this case, because I've never personally interacted with her. I don't even like leaving comments on her YouTube videos because I feel like I'm trying to impress her and grab her attention - and my fragile ego could not handle yet another failure.





Are you famous? Do you have any famous friends? Have you ever been on the news, or in the local newspaper? Ever performed in front of a crowd, or traveled the world to share your talent? Share your "fifteen minutes of fame" story in comments!




~





Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Hall Pass (or "Let's Debate Something Fun like Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame candidates")


The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame announced its list of 2017 Nominees earlier this week.




I'm a Hall of Fame junkie, specifically sports Halls of Fame. I'm fascinated by who is elected, who is considered, and how each Hall of Fame has their own criteria and selection process. None of the Halls of Fame get everything exactly right; if they did there'd be nothing to debate. Baseball comes the closest, its eligibility requirements and voting process are the simplest and most transparent. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is the most confusing to me - which is why I seek a better understanding of the criteria.

I've been to both halls, having visited Cooperstown in 1991 and 1999 and Cleveland in 2004. I have three issues with the Rock and Roll Hall, though two are minor cosmetic things.

When I visited the Baseball Hall I was allowed to take pictures of anything and everything - and when my aunt died last year, one of the things I asked my mother to find was our pictures from Cooperstown.

When I visited the Rock and Roll Hall in 2004, I took a lot of pictures outside - and none inside. Photography was not allowed, as a "courtesy to the artists". I can take a picture of Babe Ruth's bat but not Michael Jackson's jacket? Not cool, rock stars. I assumed that this ban was most likely lifted when the iPhone was invented - because you can't stop people from using their phones - but maybe we just ran into the wrong exhibits:
Can I take pictures and videos?
Yes! Just turn off your flash and don't grab a photo in the Foster Theater (where photos unfortunately aren't allowed) or near any exhibit with a "No Photography" sign.

Still, I don't remember seeing any such signs anywhere in Cooperstown:
Photography and Video
Flash photography and video recording is encouraged throughout the Museum.

Which leads me to my second issue... the Baseball Hall of Fame is in the village of Cooperstown, New York. This is not close to the city. This is not close to any city. And yet, every year the induction ceremony is held in this quaint little village. The living legends of baseball all come to Cooperstown to welcome the newest members of the hallowed Hall. Induction ceremonies often attract tens of thousands of fans - more than the population of Cooperstown.

The Rock Hall is in Cleveland, Ohio - a major American city with an airport and everything. There are three pro sports teams in Cleveland - including the NBA Champion Cavaliers. Yet the Rock Hall induction ceremonies take place in... Brooklyn, New York.

This makes zero sense to me. Brooklyn is an eight hour drive from Cleveland (I know because we drove to Cleveland in '04.) Is there a reason why the induction ceremony has to be held there? If Quicken Loans arena (aka the "Q") is good enough for LeBron James and the Republican National Convention, it ought to be good enough for Hall and Oates.



The third issue I have with the Rock Hall is their (s)election process. The easiest part to understand is thus: an artist becomes eligible for consideration 25 years after their first recording. From there it gets a little tricky - there seems to be no limit to how many times an artist can appear on the Hall of Fame Ballot, or why some artists appear on the ballot one year and not the next - and, in some cases, re-appear some years later.

In baseball, if a player fails to reach minimum vote totals (5% of the vote by the Baseball Writers association) that player does not appear on any subsequent ballots. There are over a dozen players that the Baseball Writers have legitimately missed (you can read my post about this on my sports card blog) but - as in the game itself - once you're out, you can't come back in.  

There is one thing that the Rock and Roll Hall does that no sports hall has attempted (to my knowledge anyway.) On the Rock Hall website you can vote for up to five artists that you want to see inducted into the RRHOF. The top five vote-getters will appear on a "fan's ballot" which will be submitted along with the ballots from official voters:
Ballots are then sent to more than 600 historians, members of the music industry and artists—including every living Rock Hall inductee—and the five performers receiving the most votes become that year's induction class. Beginning in 2012, fans were given the chance to vote for the nominees they'd like to see inducted into the Rock Hall. The top five vote-getters in the public poll form one ballot, which is weighted the same as the rest of the submitted ballots.

That's right, music fan - you have a say in who gets elected to the Hall of Fame. How cool is that?

With that in mind I thought I'd review each nominated artist and share my thoughts - and my ballot. Here are the 2017 Rock Hall nominees:

  • Bad Brains 
  • The Cars
  • Chaka Khan 
  • Chic 
  • Depeche Mode
  • Electric Light Orchestra 
  • J. Geils Band 
  • Jane's Addiction 
  • Janet Jackson
  • Joan Baez 
  • Joe Tex 
  • Journey
  • Kraftwerk
  • MC5 
  • Pearl Jam
  • Steppenwolf 
  • Tupac Shakur
  • Yes 
  • The Zombies 

I'm going to be honest with you - I have no idea who some of these artists are. Perhaps that means they are not significant enough to be elected to the Hall of Fame... or perhaps it means that my music knowledge is much more limited than my sports knowledge. Either way, it took me about ten seconds to cut the list in half. 

Bad Brains and MC5 were the first two cuts - never heard of 'em. I'm vaguely familiar with Chaka Khan (Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan) and the only Joe Tex song I know is "I Gotcha", which was featured in Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs. J. Geils Band, Steppenwolf, and Yes had their share of hits but I don't think it's an oversight to exclude them from the Hall. 



There are four acts that have been eligible for a very long time, much longer than the Baseball Hall of Fame would allow. At some point you have to ask yourself: if Chic and ELO and Joan Baez and The Zombies have been passed over more than a dozen times, why should the committee members change their minds now? When a (retired) baseball player sees his Hall of Fame vote totals increase he often wonders why. I don't have any more hits now than I had before. 

Maybe there are some new voters who aren't very familiar with these artists (like me) but you've got to draw the line somewhere. That said, Chic's Nile Rogers should be inducted for something. Same for Perry Farrell, whose contributions to music as founder of Lollapalooza are as significant as anything he recorded with Jane's Addiction - though neither seems worthy of induction on its own.


That leaves me with seven quality candidates:
  • The Cars
  • Depeche Mode
  • Janet Jackson
  • Journey
  • Kraftwerk
  • Pearl Jam
  • Tupac Shakur

Two artists jump out at me immediately: Pearl Jam and Janet Jackson should be slam-dunk selections (not sure why Janet isn't in already). Hip-hop fans revere Tupac Shakur the way rock fans revere Kurt Cobain - and Nirvana was a first-ballot selection. That tells me Tupac will be as well.

You probably know that I'm a huge Depeche Mode fan. This is the first time they have appeared on the Rock Hall ballot, and I'm absolutely voting for them. I'm not terribly optimistic that they'll be selected, though. I keep reading about an anti-80's bias amongst the committee; U2 and R.E.M. are in but many popular New Wave and Modern Rock acts such as The Cure, The Smiths, New Order, and Duran Duran are rarely nominated and often overlooked. The committee is more likely to go with The Cars

Journey is a tricky one. They have the name recognition, the longevity, and the iconic hit songs. I could see them getting in eventually, just as Chicago did last year. They may have to wait a while longer as the committee often selects at least one backlogged artist from the 60's and 70's - ELO perhaps?

Kraftwerk has been overlooked for a different reason. Everyone knows "Don't Stop Believin" but can you name even one Kraftwerk song? The Man-Machines weren't exactly radio-friendly hit makers (at least not in the US) though they are far more influential than most of the other nominees as pioneers of electronic digital music.

I've been a Kraftwerk fan for many years and I'm voting for them. They invented a genre, which has got to be worth something to voters. But are they more essential to the HOF than Journey, The Cars, or Depeche Mode? I can't say for sure. My gut tells me that they won't be selected this year... but don't be surprised if they're inducted in the next year or two.


To summarize, I think these five artists should be elected:

Depeche Mode, Janet Jackson, Kraftwerk, Pearl Jam, Tupac Shakur


However, I think these five artists will be elected:

The Cars, ELO, Janet Jackson, Pearl Jam, Tupac Shakur


Which artists would you consider worthy of the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame? Do you agree with my analysis? Am I overlooking an artist you would vote for? Let me know in comments! 


~



Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Only In Dreams






I have lots of time to daydream when I'm riding the bus, or walking home, or trying to fall asleep. Sometimes I dream about being a star athlete, or the lead singer/guitarist of a band that re-invents rock music and ascends to commercial and critical success not seen in this pop-obsessed country since Nirvana. Sometimes I dream of leaving the world the same way Kurt Cobain did.

Usually though, my daydreams follow the same storyline, within a fictional universe I've built for myself - including an ideal age, backstory, body type, hometown, occupations (yes, I have two jobs), social status... and relationships. But all of that centers around MFG -- and I promised I wouldn't blog about her anymore. 

And I think that someone in my subconscious is getting jealous of all the time I've spent thinking about that girl (and Taryn Southern, and Anna Kendrick...) 

Organic dreams are so random and strange but really fascinating to me, and I like to write them down so I can remember and analyze them. So here goes...


I'm in a sun-lit conference room with large windows on the far side. I get the sense that I'm in an office building, maybe fourth floor or tenth. Not ground level, but not too high up, either. There are six or seven other people with me - an Asian girl, an African-American guy, and a few other faceless people. 


And Jennifer Lawrence.




We must have taken some sort of test because I ask her how she did. "Aced it." She says, with a nonchalant shrug. I don't know why she was so confident in that moment, the "real" J-Law is often modest and awkward.


Then we're in a buffet line, and she's in front of me. She's holding a plate, but I'm not - and I can't see any food. All I see is her. 


You know that feeling when you really like someone and you try to play it cool cause you want to impress them.. but they suddenly seem so intimidating? That's me right here. I'm so aware of her advantage in this situation - I'm behind her, trailing her, trying to get her attention. And she seems so tall. I'm 6 '2" and I think she's 5' 8" but in this moment she cuts quite an imposing figure. 

As I'm sizing her up, planning to make my move, I breathe her in. I can actually smell the freshly-washed shirt she's wearing. I can feel the thick cotton. 



Finally, I position myself between her and the alleged food spread. I stand in front of her, place my hands on her hips (I can feel her hips!) and pull her close to me. This does not seem like the most romantic locale my brain could have produced, but whatevs.

"You know," I say to Jen. "I've loved a lot of girls. But you know I love you best." 

She responds with this doubting smirk, almost like an eye roll. I wish I could tell you that I backed up my bold (and poorly-worded) statement with an earth-shaking kiss... but I didn't. I must have woke up or something.


Still, that dream felt sooo real. I'm always amazed at what sort of surprises lay deep within my subconscious mind. I immediately search for meaning because there has to be a reason why I thought of this. 

Obviously I can't just go ahead and kiss Jennifer Lawrence (though that would be pretty sweet!) But I can try to divert my attention from one favorite female to another. And maybe that's what my subconscious was trying to say. 




Have you had any interesting dreams lately? Do you immediately journal them and/or try to extract a meaning or message? Let me know in comments! 




~








Monday, June 27, 2016

Let's dance to Joy Division and celebrate the irony





I feel like I should write a blog post without complaining about my job or my family, or wallowing in depression, or lamenting how unhealthy I've become...but sadly, that doesn't leave much to discuss.

I could try writing a flash fiction post, but all of my ideas have dried up. That, along with my rapidly declining health, seems to be a long-term effect of my year-long depression. My creativity is just...gone. Which is kind of a bummer because I had a great idea for a Young Adult novel and I would have loved to see it through.

Also, this young actress would have been perfect for my female lead -- even if my story never made it further than a YA readers/writers forum.


Hello, Kitty Kat

I'm not even sure if I saved a copy of the story. When my aunt died last summer, I lost a great deal of writing motivation. I knew I'd never finish it, and I thought everything I had ever written was rubbish.

Additionally, her house was like a hoarder's dream - there was so much old crap lying around it took two dumpsters, dozens of bags of trash, and my entire immediate family working long hours for two straight weeks to get rid of it all. (At one point I stumbled into her sewing room and found a stack of Time magazines - from 1990.)

I had always been a neat freak until I had my own family and lost control of my life (and my living space) but in my somewhat morbid mindset I was determined not to leave behind a mess of my things for my family to clean should something happen to me. So when I got back to Jerz I put everything I had ever written in a box and ran it all through a shredder. That included a lot of embarrassing journal entries, notes from girls I never dated (so why the heck was I saving them?) and all of my story notes, ideas, and at least two copies of a screenplay I had written a decade ago that sorta morphed into my Lighthouse story.

Maybe there's a paper copy of it left, or maybe there's a digital copy saved on a disk somewhere, I'm not sure. Whatever. I still have the important plot points stored away in my mind, along with some pics of celebrities that sorta kinda resemble my main characters...and this amazing track:




Speaking of music...I really need more music. And I need to organize my music like I organize my baseball cards. This is a much greater task than it should be. Y'all got iPhones, right? Well, I dont. I dont even have iTunes. My last computer crashed after I downloaded an iTunes update and so I still haven't downloaded it on this computer - which I've had for almost two years. All of the CD's I frequently-occasionally listen to have been uploaded, but I use Windows Media Player to play them. Except, as you know, I do not currently have speakers. And so, the only ways I can listen to music are: bring CDs into the car, or listen to my very old iPod.

I feel like an idiot using an iPod when everyone else has an iPhone, but I'd use it anyway if I had any recent music loaded onto it. Which of course I can't do without downloading iTunes (by this point you're probably saying oh just download it already!). For the past few months I've been content with listening to Fall Out Boy and Silversun Pickups for 20 minutes a day on my morning commute. But I need some variety, man.

There are songs I have on my iPod that I dont have anywhere else, and there are songs I burned to blank CDs either through downloads or borrowing CDs from my best friend (the library) that I never uploaded to my iPod. And it's frickin difficult to access any particular song at any particular time.

For instance, the above pic of Kat McNamara is captioned "Hello Kitty Kat" because of a 1994 Smashing Pumpkins song - which I cannot listen to right now because for some dumb reason I never put it on the pod. Also, Harlynn had asked for song suggestions for her next hula hooping video... and I suggested "Song 2" by Blur. Another 90's favorite I can't access at the moment.

That's another problem - my music collection is old as fuck. I rarely hear new music because top 40 is garbage in the US (FOB excluded, of course), and I don't have satellite radio or Pandora. I think I've purchased an average of one CD or album download per year since graduating college.

My (wife's) niece played random selections from her iTunes library during her graduation party, and I recognized exactly four songs: "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana, "Re-Education Through Labor" by Rise Against, and two Sublime songs - "Santeria" and "What I Got." Which led to a spirited sing along with myself, D's sister, and her older brother. Which led to their father openly questioning why a white man would sing reggae. Which led D's sister to jump to the defense of the late, great Brad Nowell - who has been dead for 20 years.

Which led me to feel really, really fucking old.


BTW, do y'all save CDs from artists you used to love even though you've sorta outgrown them? I ask because I have about 20 albums and singles of The Cure I rarely listen to, but I'm never getting rid of them because they were a huge part of my high school years and I'm nostalgic like that.

This track shall be played at my funeral:




That's two melancholy tracks in one post. I'm sorry if I've depressed you on a Monday morning.


Here's another one of my old favorites. It's a much, much more upbeat track. If I could play this at work I wouldn't need energy drinks ;-)









~








Wednesday, June 8, 2016

humpday randomness

I wanted to write a short post so that I can stop being a selfish blogger and read/comment on other blogs. So here are a few random thoughts shaking around in my brain...



My street is currently blocked off, and half the roads in town are being paved at the same time. For the next two weeks we have to wake up to the sound of construction vehicles digging up our roads starting at 7am, we have no trash or recycling removal services because access is blocked, we have to park our vehicles at least two blocks away, and we have to leave the house fifteen minutes early because the traffic around town is insane. Oh, and this is happening during the last two weeks of school. Fun times.


I was so frazzled this morning that wifey told me to bring an umbrella because it's going to rain ...and I did not care. 




She told me to bring one yesterday and I did. There wasn't a cloud in the sky until I was halfway home. Then there was a light shower. No biggie. Today does not look good though... it's already thunderstorming, and unless it lets up in the next ninety minutes I will be screwed. And soaked. 


Y'all know about Taryn Southern? Cause I don't. I was going through my desktop folders last week when I found this picture:


It baffled me for two reasons: I could not remember saving it, and I had no idea who she is. It's not like me to save a random picture of a random girl, and so I had to do some Googling because I must know who is occupying 300kb of space in my 'random blog pics' folder. And… I still don’t know who she is. I know her name, but I could not tell you specifically what she does. (For some reason I thought she was a country singer.)

Maybe she does social media things for a living, because she has over 450,000 subscribers on YouTube, which sounds like an insane amount to me... but if vlogging and tweeting and posting selfies is your 9 to 5 then maybe it’s not so hard to accumulate a major city’s worth of followers.

It also helps to be a hot girl. 



Speaking of semi-famous young women... Shailene Woodley was on the news yesterday surrogating for Bernie Sanders. I like that she wore no makeup and gave no fucks about maintaining a 'celebrity' appearance, but she sounded so damn robotic. Everything she said was pretty much word for word what any other supporter would say, and has already said. Yawn. Tris...Hazel...whatever your name is. Just stop. It's over. Get on the winning side. We'll make room for ya ;-)



My mom has become so concerned about my health that she is now offering me money to lose weight. (A long form blog post about this is forthcoming.) She had this idea to give me $100 for every 10 pounds I lose. I told her to save her money. Not happening. But then I thought... how else am I going to afford a case of 2017 Topps Heritage baseball cards? Get a better paying job? Hahahahahaha!!!

Mom assumed I weighted about 215-220 lb, and that’s right around my previous high. I told her that sounded accurate since my pants still fit… but then I weighed myself.

238.8.!! A new personal record!!! Yeeahhh!!


I'm tempted to go to my favorite burger joint and pig out so that I can pad my stats a little. I love my mom, but I'm broke as fuck and I've had my eye on those cards for two years.

I could probably lose 50 pounds by Christmas if properly motivated. Hmmm... show me another pic of that Southern girl...






Challenge accepted!


Starting next week.


Maybe.



~