We have a new secretary at our office. The lawyer who hired me hired her, and she's very nice. But she sits right outside my office, which is both good and bad. It's good because she's talkative and friendly, and when I'm able to conquer my anxiety and talk to her it gives me an excuse to not take/make collection calls. But it's also bad because part of the reason why she's so eager to chat is because our office is too quiet and it bothers her. And that guilts me into doing my job :/
I took the day off work today, to attend my daughter's Kindergarten class for a parents-only performance. We sat in tiny metal chairs while the kids stood and sang/shouted songs they learned. It was cute. The teacher then played a seven-minute video of pictures from the school year, framed with beachy backgrounds and inspirational slogans, set to some saaaad country music that made all the moms cry. Especially my daughter's mom.
There was quite a junk food spread in the classroom. Chocolate chip cookies and Oreos and Pringles and string cheese and little mini cupcakes. And since I didn't know anybody there except one dad who I've met maybe twice, there was nothing for me to do after the show except eat. And sweat my ass off in the hot classroom. And try not to get trampled by two dozen wound-up little monsters.
I got home around 11am and took a two hour nap because I got very little sleep last night. Somewhere around 2am I got up to use the bathroom and, in my semi-conscious state, I heard an airplane fly by loud and clear. Too loud and too clear for my liking. And I was overcome with this sense of dread that the plane would crash somewhere nearby; I had a clear vision of this when I returned to my bed, complete with a blinding flash illuminating my window. Couldn't sleep much after that.
Napping has become a favorite pastime of mine. It alleviates my stress and keeps me from eating, but it has also become necessary. I often have trouble falling asleep at night, and since I'm poor (and wifey has a dismissive attitude toward prescription pills) the only thing that's helped me sleep over the past two years is clutching my pillow and dreaming of My Favorite Girl in The Whole Wide World.
But, as I mentioned here, I no longer feel the urge to follow her. And I haven't checked her page in over four months. The second greatest crush of my life is finally coming to an end. My plan to flood all my free time with sports cards and video games has succeeded. Except...
There's a lull in my sports cycle at the moment. Hockey season has mercifully ended, basketball season will end this weekend, and I'm still waiting on my two biggest sports card orders. The next seven to ten days will be slow and uneventful. I've thought about starting a second blog and posting all my random thoughts about sports and sports trading cards, but I doubt I'll follow through because I always have more ideas than time, and the sports/cards blogs I've seen never have more than one or two commenters.
And so there remains an empty space in my heart, a gentle hum that becomes a loud cry when I try to sleep. I do not know what to do about this, but I know that I can't let the emptiness consume me like it did all of last year and into this spring. I am finally better now, if only slightly. I can't go back to crushing on my old crush, and it would be practically suicidal to start a new one.
I need another hobby....
My mom wants to buy me an exercise bike because she is a lot more worried about my health than I am. This will likely be in lieu of the cash prize she originally proposed, as I cant well accept a free bike and a hundred bucks (or more). I am completely confident that, once ordered, the bike will remain in the box, unassembled, next to the flat screen TV she bought us last October. Who's got time to open and assemble things? Not i.
Father's Day is this weekend, which means I will be at the in-laws all day Sunday. How is that different from any other Sunday, you ask? Well, most Sundays I at least have the option of staying home. Can't exactly do that this time, not when my Father-in-law does so much for us. (If the TV and exercise bike are ever getting installed, he'll be the one to do it. He put together the TV cart we bought at Ikea two months ago.)
I told wifey that I don't expect to get any gifts for Father's Day, but if she's feeling generous I do need new computer speakers, so I can hear Minecraft and YouTube and Fall Out Boy.
And I really want to hear Taryn discuss vital social issues n' stuff with her alter ego:
doze legs doe
That's all I got for now. Hope y'all have a great weekend!