Thursday, June 23, 2016

tl;dr





every morning when i reluctantly roll out of bed i have two goals for the day:


  • get back to my bed as quickly and painlessly as possible
  • acquire caffinated beverages

this has not been a good week for either. 


usually i have five days of work, bookended by two 'short days' in which i dont have to take the bus/walk home, dont have to watch the girls all afternoon, and can take a nap or do something enjoyable for myself while wifey keeps an eye on the kidlets. 

this is followed by a saturday in which we usually get our errans done, and a sunday which is spent at the in-laws. 

those monday and friday and saturday afternoons are vital to my sanity. i am constantly checking the clock, killing time whenever possible in order to maximize the precious hours i have away from work. when i dont have something to break the stress, something that is my choice, or something i enjoy, i overheat. 





and this is what happens when i dont get to cool off...


saturday my four year old had gym class. which is across the street from my fave burger joint. might as well be across the moon, cause this was the last gym class of the season and the kids had a special performance that i shouldnt and couldnt miss. and the in-laws came which was fine but then somehow i missed the part where they offered to take us to lunch. which is fine. free lunch, right? except they took us to the same place we went last time...where we were cam-bushed by some snap happy papparazzo in training. 

obviously the chances of that same family being at that same restaurant again would be next to nil. and i knew that. i also knew that i was not going to get my urban burger. i was more annoyed at the fact that they wanted to go to home depot afterward. just keep dragging me to places i don't want to go without telling me first, like i'm a damn child. 

(this may seem like a stupid thing to complain about but i was kidnapped in third grade so i have issues)

we stopped at home for a minute and i attempted to check my e-mail but the wife rushed me away because she said her father was waiting in the car. then, once i got pissed about doing all this stuff for everyone else without even having a minute to breathe, we argued and shouted at each other for twenty minutes because her father was not waiting for us after all, they took the kids to their house so we could do our shopping at our own pace, and she absolutely could have let me check my e-mail first. 

but whatever. at least i got a mountain dew out of the deal.



sunday was father's day. which meant spending all day at the in-laws. there goes the weekend. again. but at least no one else was going to be there. i could hang out in the den and watch john oliver for a while. maybe pop stocked the fridge with some coke or seagram's? nope. just a pepsi and a couple of dr. peppers. yuck. (i still drank em.)  

we got home late, of course, and i had a month's worth of recycling to round up and take to the curb since our street was blocked off during the last scheduled pickup. had to use our trash can as a recycling can cause there was so much overflow. also missed the beginning of the basketball game. wish i had missed the end though. very disappointing. golden state totally choked. 

i did not get the speakers i had asked for, or anything else for father's day. however my six year old drew this for me:




this is actually the front cover of a large card she made, but i cant scan the inside


monday  my wife doesn't usually work mondays but she had to so that she could take today off (more on that later). so, after a rough weekend, i jumped straight into another stressful week of work. 

i waited for the bus, which was late every day this week due to more road excavation round the city center. after that i walked home in first day of summer heat. which is much harder than it used to be because i have put on quite a lot of weight.

after i got home, showered, and ate cereal for lunch (we're out of everything else) i let the girls empty out the closet full of their old toys, because i knew it would kill some time and i was just so glad they wanted to play with me. usually they just watch shopkins videos or (pretend to) make their own and i cant get them to cough up the tablet without a fight. 

they made a total mess of my upstairs room - my sanctuary - and it remains scattered about my floor as i type this. 



tuesday was to be an even longer day, as my wife had to attend her niece's high school graduation after work. which is why i fueled up with two monster energy drinks. and i needed every single sip. 

my boss and the receptionist (who think she's everyone's boss) were out so i was expecting an easy work day. wrong. the phone rang almost as soon as i sat down and it didn't let up for over an hour. i spent a good deal of the work day in the men's room because i think my piss poor diet has yielded some kind of bowel illness



Maybe if you didnt have the shits you coulda beat carolina and won the cup ya worthless piece of.... I'm still mad about that damn final. And it was ten years ago. 


anyway...tuesday night i had to make dinner and wifey told me to make chicken sandwiches, which i did, and i would have anyway cause i was desperately craving some kind of protein with some kind of cheese on a bun and i even found some bacon in the microwave which i was a second or two from eating but then she flipped out on me because it had been "out" all night (she made it the night before and forgot). i told her i didnt care but she threw a fit so i threw it out and i was this close to tossing my sandwich in the trash too. but that would have been a bit much. 

when she left for the graduation i told the girls we could watch a movie because my six year old said she had watched ice age at school but didn't get to finish it and once i started it she said this wasn't the one she watched at school. but i had already spent three dollars on it and i wasn't turning it off. 

she complained of stomach pains halfway through the movie, and begged me to call mommy when i knew there was no way she could answer. and of course, all our emergency contacts were also family members attending said graduation. she was okay, probably just ate too much, but i still haven't seen the end of the movie. 





and then there was wednesday. the worst fucking day by far.


on the way to work, wifey offered to stop at the store so i could get some drinks or snacks for work since she still had not had time to shop. i told her that i should try to get through one work day without energy drinks or whatever, and i didn't want to keep spending money. 

big mistake.

our bitch ass receptionist returned and was apparently overwhelmed with all the work she had to do after her four day vacation. well boo-fucking-hoo. all she does is sort papers and forward calls to poor saps like us who have to actually deal with the debtors.

at one point i had three calls right in a row, with no time in between to take notes and pass them on to an attorney. i had to put my phone on 'do not disturb' so that i could write down what every debtor called about before my broken a.d.d. brain forgot it all...

and thats when i noticed this supposedly busy receptionist walk by my office, pause at my door, then continue. five minutes later an attorney told me not to put my phone on 'do not disturb' because poor receptionist lady had a lot of work to do and it reroutes the collection calls to her. 

then how did she have time to snoop on me, huh? 

oh my god i cant wait to get out of this place. unfortunately, i dont even have time to look for a new job until at least july. which means i probably wont find one until november. if i dont have an aneurysm by then.

and because of that drama i marched over to the seven eleven first chance i got and bought ten dollars worth of food: two cans of mountain dew, an apple iced tea, a milky way brownie thing, a strawberry cream cheese danish, and a cup of mangoes cause i felt like eating healthy. naturally, the mangoes were the most expensive item. all of it was consumed within three hours, except for the mangoes and one mountain dew. had to save something for today.

i was actually going to get lunch at taco bell, but free taco day was tuesday, not wednesday, and the bus was a half hour late which took away my taco time. probably better for my bowles anyway. and so i was a half hour late coming home, without tacos, and we still didnt have any food in the house because the wife didnt have time to shop. or so i thought.

whilst watching the press conference announsing the new las vegas nhl team (name tbd) wife called on the house phone. i ran to get it since i figured it was important and tripped over the baby gate which is still screwed into the kitchen doorway despite the fact that we no longer have any babies. then she proceeds to tell me that she went grocery shopping on her lunch break (which she didn't tell me about so I was unable to place a request for food and/or mountain dew) 

but while at shop rite she apparently slipped on an open container of cherries or something and her shopping cart fell on top of her. which is awful and made me angry at the careless idiots at shop rite but she's okay. 

and later that afternoon, my six year old slipped and fell in our kitchen (i'm still not sure how or on what) and bruised her arm. of course i was getting changed in the bedroom when this was happening and my daughter yelled at me because i couldn't help right away, or i wasn't mommy, or whatever... but she called me a "worthless father" 

truer words have never been spoken.

once wifey came home and i was sure everyone was okay i went to bed. it was 7pm. i woke up around 10:30pm, briefly, and then slept some more. just to get me closer to the end of this horrible, horrible week.




all 16 comments
[–]daaraa 42 points  
It limits potential failures. It keeps you in control. It doesn't lead to threatening situations. It is a non-demanding environment.
Depression is a somatic disease and it does drain physical energy. Mental energy is also drained by depression mainly due to how thoughts intensify and resolve during intense emotional sessions. Closing your eyes and visualizing concepts helps with the energy-drain.
In object-related psychology the bed - or more accurately the place where we sleep - is associated to safety.
In cognitive psychology limiting exposure is a defense mechanism to help cope with the overwhelming.
There are many other theoretical assumptions as to why remaining in bed feels good but I think we all have an innate appreciation and understanding of this behavior.
[–]zimmii 9 points  
Currently hiding in my bed since last Friday, pretty sure I've only been awake about 20 hours since Saturday night. Yep, depression does drain you and my bed is my safe spot. I feel bad for letting life go by and things going undone, but less can attack me if I avoid the world.



this post is already long so I'll just say that today i took a nap, wrote this post, and took out the trash. tomorrow I'll have a bit of a break - the plan is to clean the mess upstairs if i acquire enough soda no one interrupts me - because saturday is the start of another shitstorm. 



last saturday was the end of my four year old's spring season at gym class. so you'd think there would be a few weeks off before the summmer season starts. nope. back to gym class this saturday. (though i might - might - be able to sneak off to urban burger) 

and since wifey's niece graduated high school on tuesday she's having a graduation party this saturday. attendance mandatory. another saturday...gone. 

as for sunday, well...its possible i wont have to go to the in-laws two days in a row. it is also a remote possibility that wifey takes the girls over there for the day and gives me the day to stay home and clean up the place, watch a little tv, maybe even write an e-mail to an old friend.


perhaps there is a light at the end of the tunnel 







~







6 comments:

  1. Do you ever get a say in whether or not you visit the in-laws every Sunday? Not trying to create any kind of conflict, but you and Wifey maybe taking the occasional Sunday by yourselves might not be a bad idea. Each of you could take one of the girls and do something with them on their own. I remember as a kid, I absolutely LOVED IT when my dad took me and just me to do something fun. Or even not fun. It was just nice being singled out. I bet your girls would like that.

    Hope next week is kinder to you!

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    Replies
    1. D is usually pretty good about giving me a normal Sunday off and I've really, really needed one this month to clean the house, rest/recharge... but with Memorial Day, birthdays, Father's Day and graduations, not one Sunday has been 'normal' (and next weekend is 4th of July)

      I like your idea, perhaps I'll try that when things simmer a bit. :)

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  2. That card is cute as hell, you better save that forever! Why are you spending Father's Day at your in laws? Kids spend it with dad! Possibly stop by grandpa's for a minute to give him a card and general compassion.

    Dude you should elaborate on this kidnapping experience...?

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    Replies
    1. He does a lot for us, and they have a pool so the kids like to go there and swim. I actually felt good going since none of his other kids were there. (But I was bored pretty quick.) And yes I'm keeping that card forever. I collect em you know ;)

      The kidnapping thing...might be its own blog post? Not sure yet. But I promise I'll share the story soon.

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  3. "every morning when i reluctantly roll out of bed i have two goals for the day:


    get back to my bed as quickly and painlessly as possible
    acquire caffinated beverages"

    i think this is the wisest thing that anyone has ever said. i totally agree with both these goals.

    i was laughing when i got to the performance that you couldn't miss. no matter what. what does your four year old do in class?

    wait, kidnapped?? this is not something you talk about in passing, bruv. we need details.

    you don't like Pepsi?? but i live on it. well, the diet stuff anyway. the hardcore sugary stuff i reserve for when my blood sugar dips down.

    that card is SO adorable. it's so precious.

    "they made a total mess of my upstairs room - my sanctuary - and it remains scattered about my floor as i type this." the joys of having children, aye?

    "i spent a good deal of the work day in the men's room because i think my piss poor diet has yielded some kind of bowel illness" been there, mate.

    oh my god, that commerical... how much did they pay him to convince him to do that?

    "Maybe if you didnt have the shits you coulda beat carolina and won the cup ya worthless piece of" i'm laughing and i have no idea what on Earth you're talking about.

    that bacon story is tragic.

    "and then there was wednesday. the worst fucking day by far." wait, it gets WORSE? i feel exhausted just sat here reading this!

    "i told her that i should try to get through one work day without energy drinks or whatever, and i didn't want to keep spending money." FOOL.

    what do you work as? i've never asked.

    "and a cup of mangoes cause i felt like eating healthy" again, this resonates with me.

    "but while at shop rite she apparently slipped on an open container of cherries or something and her shopping cart fell on top of her" i'm glad that she's okay! that sounds like it could really hurt! :(

    come on, lad. she's six. she probably thought it was the end of the world.

    i hope you're feeling a bit better now! what a hectic week xxx get some REST... and drink more caffeine.




    -Sam Lupin

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    Replies
    1. "i think this is the wisest thing that anyone has ever said. i totally agree with both these goals." thanks mate! the simplest sayings are often the wisest.

      My 4 year old mostly does forward rolls and a balance beam walk or two. Nothing serious. But its one of those things parents cant get out of. I was good with that.

      "i'm laughing and i have no idea what on Earth you're talking about." 10 yrs ago, his team made it to the last game of the championship series against Carolina (my most hated team) which they lost. and a year or two later he was doing ads for UC.

      "wait, kidnapped?? this is not something you talk about in passing, bruv. we need details." Next post, perhaps. I promised Harlynn I'd elaborate so I'll move it to the top of the queue.

      I really dont know why we fought over bacon. I think its because I never learned to cook it, and I dont care what happens to me.

      "what do you work as? i've never asked." I was a file clerk, until the law firm promoted me to collections. I posted about it here if you have yet more time to read my drivel :-)

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