Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Only In Dreams






I have lots of time to daydream when I'm riding the bus, or walking home, or trying to fall asleep. Sometimes I dream about being a star athlete, or the lead singer/guitarist of a band that re-invents rock music and ascends to commercial and critical success not seen in this pop-obsessed country since Nirvana. Sometimes I dream of leaving the world the same way Kurt Cobain did.

Usually though, my daydreams follow the same storyline, within a fictional universe I've built for myself - including an ideal age, backstory, body type, hometown, occupations (yes, I have two jobs), social status... and relationships. But all of that centers around MFG -- and I promised I wouldn't blog about her anymore. 

And I think that someone in my subconscious is getting jealous of all the time I've spent thinking about that girl (and Taryn Southern, and Anna Kendrick...) 

Organic dreams are so random and strange but really fascinating to me, and I like to write them down so I can remember and analyze them. So here goes...


I'm in a sun-lit conference room with large windows on the far side. I get the sense that I'm in an office building, maybe fourth floor or tenth. Not ground level, but not too high up, either. There are six or seven other people with me - an Asian girl, an African-American guy, and a few other faceless people. 


And Jennifer Lawrence.




We must have taken some sort of test because I ask her how she did. "Aced it." She says, with a nonchalant shrug. I don't know why she was so confident in that moment, the "real" J-Law is often modest and awkward.


Then we're in a buffet line, and she's in front of me. She's holding a plate, but I'm not - and I can't see any food. All I see is her. 


You know that feeling when you really like someone and you try to play it cool cause you want to impress them.. but they suddenly seem so intimidating? That's me right here. I'm so aware of her advantage in this situation - I'm behind her, trailing her, trying to get her attention. And she seems so tall. I'm 6 '2" and I think she's 5' 8" but in this moment she cuts quite an imposing figure. 

As I'm sizing her up, planning to make my move, I breathe her in. I can actually smell the freshly-washed shirt she's wearing. I can feel the thick cotton. 



Finally, I position myself between her and the alleged food spread. I stand in front of her, place my hands on her hips (I can feel her hips!) and pull her close to me. This does not seem like the most romantic locale my brain could have produced, but whatevs.

"You know," I say to Jen. "I've loved a lot of girls. But you know I love you best." 

She responds with this doubting smirk, almost like an eye roll. I wish I could tell you that I backed up my bold (and poorly-worded) statement with an earth-shaking kiss... but I didn't. I must have woke up or something.


Still, that dream felt sooo real. I'm always amazed at what sort of surprises lay deep within my subconscious mind. I immediately search for meaning because there has to be a reason why I thought of this. 

Obviously I can't just go ahead and kiss Jennifer Lawrence (though that would be pretty sweet!) But I can try to divert my attention from one favorite female to another. And maybe that's what my subconscious was trying to say. 




Have you had any interesting dreams lately? Do you immediately journal them and/or try to extract a meaning or message? Let me know in comments! 




~








11 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you found Jennifer Lawrence in your dream. I love the Weezer song. I don't remember many dreams, only my worst nightmares about my ex-husband.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Yeah, I just wish I would have kissed her, lol. Weezer was one of my faves growing up. Such a unique band. I'm sorry you're still haunted by the ex-hub. That's awful. :(

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    2. I was married for almost thirty-two years. I can't avoid being haunted at least somewhat by the memories of that many years.

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  2. I think of dreams as the brain's way of sorting stuff, filing it away, making sense of things. Most mornings I have no recollection of dreaming but on the days that I do recall dreams, the images and stories slip away before I have had chance to grasp them.

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    1. It's a shame, isn't it? I find myself trying to hold on to as much as I can, but holding onto dreams is like trying to catch air.

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  3. Daydreams will literally suck me out of reality. Anytime I'm listening to music, I choreograph a hula hoop dance in my head.
    Jennifer Lawrence LOL Unless you lust for her and have for awhile, she probably just symbolizes somebody in your life. The senses you took note of are amazing. Truly was a real life feeling dream.

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    1. Well, I have been a fan of hers since X-Men: First Class but I have yet to see her last two movies (that's why I sort-of joked that she was getting 'jealous' haha) If she does symbolize someone else I can't imagine who it would be.

      Keep daydreaming of those hula hoop routines. ;-)

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  4. I have been a fan of Jennifer Lawrence since I saw here in Winter Bone. You could just tell she had it. I definitely wouldn't mind having a dream about her. She's pretty awesome. With two little kids and a full-time job, I am too tired to remember if I dream or not. It just feels like I turn on the alarm and then the next thing you know it's time to get up.

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    1. You've been on the J-Law train longer than me, I didn't catch Winter's Bone until years after. She's my fave actress by far, and one of my fave women ever.

      Its tough to get any sleep with two kids and a job, you're lucky to get any sleep at all am I right? My sleep patters are thrown off by naps, energy drinks, and an insomniac wife who only works 3 days a week. So I never know what will happen inside my head. :/

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  5. Dreams are strange things. Sometimes I think they are trying to tell me something (but I usually I have a pretty good idea what... though not always... and sometimes the message isn't for me... but that's a whole OTHER sort of dream). But a lot of our dreaming really is just our brains dumping completely useless stuff we think about. Is it possible that's what's going on here??? The thing is this: only you can know the difference and only you can decipher what the dream really means. Kinda sucks, right???

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    1. It does suck! Whenever I remember a dream clearly such as this, I assume that my subconscious is trying to tell me something. I would hate to think its all random and meaningless, but maybe some things are messages and some things are "brain dumps" ?? And how would we know what's what anyway?

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