Thursday, April 20, 2017

Due to overwhelming demand for our product... we are discontinuing our product, effective immediately.

That's pretty much what the folks at Nintendo had to say about the NES Classic.

Which is just par for the course, since it's the first console/video game/entertainment thing I've wanted in years. I don't even want a new phone. I need a new phone because mine is at least six years old, the back is missing, and the battery is hanging by a thread.. but I'd rather have a reasonable facsimile of a 30 year-old video game system than the latest iThing.
There is absolutely no reason for me to spend more than $50 on a phone. I have no friends, and I’m not on social media. I could use it as a camera... but I can't afford to travel anywhere picturesque, and my wife can take family pics on her smart phone. The only thing I really need my phone for (besides calling my mother) is an alarm clock... but actual alarm clocks actually exist, and they only cost like $20.

There is one other thing I would find useful if I had a smart phone: I could download the app that identifies a song for you.

I was in Taco Bell the other day and I heard a song over the digital music channel. It sounded kind of familiar, like I’ve heard a snippet of it before, but I didn’t know the name of the song or artist. I couldn’t even decipher one word (even Al Bundy knew hmm hmm him) Perhaps it was Lorde, or a similar artist like Lana Del Rey or Sia. (Are they similar artists? I don’t even know.)

I’m not all that familiar with Lorde. I know that she’s actually a 45 year-old male geologist from South Park, Colorado.. and that she wrote/named her hit song “Royals” after seeing this picture of baseball legend George Brett:

Wouldn’t it be cool if she had a song called “Leaders”? That way, anyone with this baseball card would win at Lorde bingo:

You know, because she also has a song called “Team”. I can't say I know that song well, but I know the chorus well enough to make up my own lyrics. Sometimes I'll sing this to myself after watching the Devils lose another hockey game:

We're not a good tee-e-eam
We can't even score one lousy goal
And you know
I need a new tee-e-eam

I'm quite desperate for new music, or at least music that's new to me. Lorde - and whatever that song I heard at Taco Bell was - might be just outside of my preferred genre, but I haven't found the time to look into new alternative acts. Soon, though. Hopefully. I'm still listening to the same CDs I wore out in high school and college.

While we're on the subject of things that were way better in the 90's... yesterday was the 30th anniversary of The Simpsons' first appearance on television.

It's amazing to me that this show has been on the air since I was in third grade. My nephews had the first Treehouse of Horror episode on VHS - and they weren't much older than my daughters are now. I owned at least one Underachiever t-shirt, and I can remember when "Do The Bartman" was in regular rotation on MTV. There are crayon drawings of Bart and Homer on the walls of my mom's attic - and some of them were done by a childhood friend I haven't spoken to in 25 years.

If I had more time, I might create a bracket-style tournament of the best Simpsons episodes or secondary characters, like the one I did for Smashing Pumpkins songs. It would be tough to choose favorites from over 600 episodes and 28 seasons, but I think I have my winner:

What's your all-time favorite Simpsons episode? Are you a fan of Lorde, or any artist that sounds like Lorde? 


  1. i think that you're the only person i know that doesn't use their phone on social media. i mean i only use my phone for WhatsApp and i thought i was a bit simplistic with it... the days that i didn't use a phone were over. i do everything with it. though i typically use it to bitch to people on WhatsApp and then roleplay in kik.

    i use that app. ah. it's a good app.

    i had to watch that video reference. God, i love that show and i absolutely love Al. didn't he end up finding out what song it was eventually? i believe.

    i don't know who she is. and the only reason i know Sia is because we use her songs in the gym. literally that is the only reason.

    i know all about needing new music. i hate everything i listen to from this era thus far but i'm also bored of listening to the same bands. i am also however discovering the songs of my high school days... the times where i only listened to heavy metal and hard rock. i have good taste even as a kid. now, i can't say the same for the death metal. i do want more folk metal however.

    i still don't know who Lorde is. i used to love the Simpsons but right now, i cannot keep up with the show anymore. i used to love how it started off talking about something and it ended up with the destruction of the planet but it just doesn't seem to sway me anymore.

    so nice to hear from you!

    hope you're having a lovely week <3

    - Sam Lupin

  2. I'm totally kicking myself for not purchasing more of those Nintendo Classics. Earlier this month, I was looking for a Star Wars Lego set and while checking out, I asked the guy if they ever get Nintendo Classics (I've been looking for one since their release). The guy had a fresh case behind the counter, so I bought one. These things are selling for over $200! That's insane!

    By the way... I think I use my iPhone more than any other possession I own (except for my bed).

    Oh... and my favorite Simpson's episode? Homer at the Bat.

  3. "I have no friends, and I’m not on social media" is a statement that could have been easily made by me as well. My phone is primarily used as a giant time teller, I really long for the days when I was still comfortable wearing a watch!

    I don't know if I could settle on one particular episode of The Simpsons that I would call my favorite, so I'll just go with the two that came to mind first: "Bart of Darkness" and "Lemon of Troy".