All of the girls I crush on are islands.
Secret places for my head and heart to escape.
Distant paradises, far from the cold reality of everyday life.
I've been island hopping for a decade, starting with one nearest to me. I explored the surroundings, learned everything I could about the native species, and built a nice little home for my heart.
Then it got too dangerous. Tsunamis of reality crushed my meager existence, hitting far too close to home. I nearly lost everything. I had to get off Angela Island.
There was a small island in the distance. Nothing sustainable, but it would make for a temporary escape. Katelandia.
Then the weather there got unbearably hot, and I had to find another home. But where?
This would be my permanent escape. It had everything I needed - natural beauty, accessibility, and a vast, sustainable garden of thoughts and dreams.
It was perfect. It was home.
It was too dangerous. The weather was unpredictable. I accidentally burned down parts of the forest. The fruit was too sweet. The crops would grow, then die, then grow again. And when they grew, they grew too big.
I had to get out of there. But...where would I go?
For a while, there seemed to be no escape from Joy Isle. I began to think I'd die there.
And then I found it, far off in the distance.
Yes! This was perfect. So much beauty, so much vegetation. So much...life. I could live off this land forever. And it was soooo far away from the real world it was like a star in a different galaxy, burning brighter and brighter and drawing me in to all of its splendor.
But oh my God, that light is so bright! Being too far from reality is frightening. The wildlife here is of a different species. It simply cannot be tamed.
I can't stay in Southernland. Far too intense for me. Paradise is supposed to be relaxing.
None of these islands have brought me any peace of mind. They all become uninhabitable and destroy me from the inside. There is nowhere to escape.
Perhaps I should jump in the ocean and drown. I can't swim back home. I've gone too far.